I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
