dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I look better un-naked...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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