I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
