im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
