Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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