dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
