they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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