Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
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I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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