Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize