Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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