why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
