Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
