Soap is not a condiment
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
