I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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