i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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