Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
