Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
