i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
