is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
