Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This is classic penis vs brain.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
