Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize