i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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