Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
