i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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