kristin has been a bad kristin
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
