Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
