I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
