He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
420 ftw
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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