I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sorry about my life...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
