i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize