You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
