; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize