I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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