One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize