Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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