My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
