I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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