He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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