I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
