please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
