I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
