I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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