Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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