I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
