so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
