so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
