So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
