THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
