Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
