It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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