i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think a kid would responsible me up
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
