you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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