i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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