I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
