we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
