When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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