the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
