thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
